Wright Choices

My favorite subjects of the late, in thoughts or words alike, are my wrong choices. Consequently, this entry has begun with the wrong choice of words. First, the choices I made in my life aren't exactly wrong ones, they're just...weird. Kudos to me for using two adjectives that start with a "W". Speaking of W, I was able to catch Fahrenheit 9/11 on HBO last week. However, I'm saving my opinions for another blog entry as they would make for an interesting exposition. Every time I look back in the past, I am left feeling perplexed by the choices I've made. The ones that range from the peculiar to the downright stupid. Oh yes! A lot of people are led to believe that when it comes to life-planning, I have it all figured out, that every move I make is calculated. One thing's for sure: I put up a really good facade of security and self-contentment. My friends are actually tired of hearing me complain, talking about my what-ifs and stuff like that. I used to think that I'm a guy with no hang-ups but then here I am, months before my 25th birthday, hanging from the gallows of quarter-life crises. I now realize that my favorite chapter of my life is high school. Yeah, yeah, I know some people would rather purge their high school memories, and, I must admit that mine wasn't that perfect also, but hey, those were the times when I cared about nothing but sleep, food and MTV (this is something you'll hear me say over and over again)! There were no worries about taxes, SLAs and KPIs, credit card bills (I got a call from an agent today!) and bosses from hell. Anyway, when I was in high school, I was so sure of what I wanted to become--a biologist or a journalist. Alright, I was indecisive even back then (pardon me for being a Libran). I thought I was destined for a career in science or media. Though not exactly polar opposites, these are two very different fields. And I happened to excel in both. My English teacher encouraged me to major in Communications when I go to college (Actually, she tried to talk me into it). I did consider it, but decided otherwise because I realized early on that I'm not too good in writing editorials. My strength was Features. I really can't write anything too serious lest I bore myself to comatose. Since I'm not a fan of heavy literature, I guess it reflects in my writing. The only classic I've read is House of Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne and it was for a book review requirement. When I was little, I was fascinated by the animal world, particularly reptiles and marine mammals. I was fortunate enough that my hometown has a thriving dolphin population so it was like having Sea World in my backyard. Alright, I'm slightly exaggerating but it's true that the Tañon Strait is home to several species of dolphins (Spinner, Risso's, Pantropical Spotted), so if one ventures out to sea on a calm, early, almost windless morning, there's a good chance of seeing these beautiful creatures cavorting in their natural habitat (if ever there's such a thing as marine-cavorting). And on a calm, early, almost windless and extremely auspicious morning, a pod of Pilot whales will show themselves as well. I've gone dolphin-watching a couple of times, with each time as exhilarating as the one before it. I've never seen the whales, though. I loved reading about animals, I've got volumes of animal encyclopedias when I was a kid, all of them now in boxes gathering dust in the storage room next to our garage. I loved to read National Geographic too (actually, it's looking at the pictures and reading the captions, given that I was a kid). Here's another interesting trivia: My grandfather, all of 86 years old now, has an active monthly subscription to the NG magazine and he reads each issue from cover to cover. Now I know where I got my smarts from heheheh. Realizing that, I'm thinking of subscribing myself. Anyway, going back to the wrong choices, seeing that my inclinations were journalism and biology, I should've pursued either one when I went to college. But oh no, I decided to take up accountancy on a whim (Help me think of a better word, please. Accountancy is hardly whimsical!). Was it really a wrong choice? I really don't know. Think about these: Right now, I actually have the privilege of choosing where to work, my profession is in high demand overseas, and it's relatively easy to land a decent-paying job in the Philippines, especially now that the outsourcing of finance and accounting-related processes is the prime cost-savings strategy being employed by multinationals. Being a CPA, I was able to go to the States for free (on Business Class, no less) and I now have a good chance of going to Europe (after which I can die with no unfinished business, thus sparing everyone I know the risk of being haunted by my restless soul hehe), I got to know a lot of people (widening my social circle that now includes Manila hahaha!), I've been to places I've always wanted to go to, I've given stuff to my parents as well as to my brother and sister (which gives me the best feeling in the world), and people actually tell me how fortunate I am with the choices I've made. On the other hand, I still have this feeling in my gut that makes me wonder what could've become of me if I had thrown all logic out of the window in the name of passion. Oh well, I'm still young and I still have time to pursue my childhood aspirations. So for now, I'll settle for this blog as a venue to put my thoughts to writing, and maybe next month, I'm getting a pet fish.

Music Hand-Me-Downs

I found out today that my blog has three loyal readers: Stephanie, a friend from way back (meaning high school) and two friends from Shell, Candice and Louella. I realized that it actually feels good to read comments from readers. Anyway, thanks guys, for inspiring me to write a fourth entry heheh. I don't know what's wrong with me but everytime I start to write, my mind goes blank. Writer's block seems to be quite overused so I'd have to come up with a more creative term...hmmmm...

A few months ago I had a moment of epiphany (I like this expression, sounds very "Christian"). What did I come to realize? That it's been almost 10 years since high school. God, am I really that old? Anyway, if I had to make a timeline of my life, it would be marked by music. I think my friends are relatively aware that I associate years of my life with songs and artists that became big during a specific year. I'm a big 90's guy. When I look back today, I can't help but laugh at how I spent this decade doing nothing but watch MTV/Channel [V], hang out with friends, eat loads of junk food, and sleep. Yeah, yeah, I know people will think that I'm bullshitting about this, given the nerdy persona I project, but the real score is, I hardly studied when I was in high school. College was an entirely different matter, though (read first entry =-) heheh). Back in the day, it was rock band or bust (at least in the Pinoy music scene). Solo acts were devoured like krill to a blue whale. In my high school class, there existed two rock band factions: The Great Divide between the Eraserheads and Rivermaya (besides that of Purefoods and Alaska heheheh). Sure, there was a miniscule number of individuals that pledged allegiance to the likes of Yano, Teeth, Grin Department, Wolfgang, and Parokya ni Edgar but that’s about it. I happened to be a big fan of Rivermaya. Don’t ask me why, but I just like Rivermaya better. Maybe it’s because there’s more passion in Bamboo’s singing and more creativity in Rico Blanco’s songwriting. Rock journalists may throw rotten tomatoes at me, but hey, what do I know? One can’t argue though, that Rivermaya has proven to have more longevity, even if only two of the original members have actually remained with the band (drummer Mark Escueta and vocalist Rico Blanco). Bamboo Manalac is now in a new “self-named” band, so Rivermaya has actually spawned a new band as well as a new rival, though I doubt if both bands will admit to playing the same brand of music.

So here’s my what happened (man do I BEAT around the bush or what?). I went home last March for my sister’s graduation. T’was then when I found out that my li’l brother has taught himself how to play guitar. Now I had guitar lessons before but I never managed to learn anything (except maybe the chords to “Line to Heaven” D-A-G-A- hahahaha) so what’s with my brother learning all by himself, huh??!! I thought I had the smarts in the family, but lately, my brother’s showing signs of genius by learning stuff just by putting his mind into it (think: Neve Campbell in “Wild Things”, learning how to sail in a matter of hours). Anyway, I was unpacking when I heard him strumming oddly familiar chords. I asked him “What’s that you’re playing” and he said “Ligaya”. I said “Oh, so they’ve made another revival, huh? MYMP fever!” and he told me “No, it’s not a revival, it’s an original by the e-heads.” “Original? By the e-heads? Yeah, right maybe ten years ago! As far as I know, they’ve ceased to exist”, I thought. Turns out, he was actually listening to a custom-burned CD that contained songs from MY generation (I’m six years older, so a generation gap is all but understandable). I felt a bit nostalgic (another sign of growing old), thinking of those days when it was I whose mind was being opened up to music. So I went up to my room, rummaged through some old CDs and fished out a limited edition CD called “Himig 90” which contained all the hits of the Eraserheads from “UltraElectroMagneticPop!” to “Aloha MilkyWay”. I handed it to my brother and told him he can have it. How his face brightened up! It was like passing the torch or something. I know this sounds corny, but it feels very good when someone from a younger generation is able to appreciate music from “my day”. I told him he could poke around my cassette tape (yikes! Cassette tapes mostly from mid-90s! hahah) collection if he wants to, provided he wont scratch my tapes, tear the liner notes or crumple anything (yeah, I admit I have obsessive-compulsive disorder). Now how’s that for a li’l brotherly bonding??

The Passion of BatMan

Does friendster blog have a clause that says "blog will be deleted after six months of inactivity"? 'cause if it does, then by this time my fifth blog (fifth attempt) will have disappeared into the nether-regions of cyberspace. After almost a year since my last post, the 'ol blog's still alive, so apparently, it doesn't. Am I makin' sense here? anyway, what worries me lately is my lack of drive (not the drive you're thinking of you dirty little worm, you). it seems like i'm at the height of catatonia. I mean, am I this unimpassioned? i think for a while, hey, do I even have any specific goals in life? well, the real world's hit me REAL hard...and way too late at the ripe old age of twenty-four....so much for goin' where the wind blows 'cause the wind's taken me to a dead-end. haha. Let’s talk about work…I feel so damn lazy! It’s like all I ever do is complain about what I’m doing…well actually, I love my job, it’s the circumstances surrounding it that’s making me gag. Second, myself. I’ve been an out-of-the-bed, into-the-shower, out-of-the-door kind of guy for the past two years…I know this sounds gross but I’m not so much into personal grooming anymore… at least not as much as I was in high school (which is understandable given the raging hormones and all that stuff back then). I rarely shop for clothes or shoes (clothes probably twice a year, shoes, I haven’t bought a new pair in over a year, damn!). Third, girls…every girl I get into liking, I like in just a lukewarm manner…sure, I still get the stutters, the habit of pushing my glasses up my nose (when I still wore glasses), and the occasional gibberish, but hey, it never gets past that. what is wrong with me? I mean, right now, what I feel most passionate about is sleep…